On Loss.

by katelin on October 17, 2017

A week ago Monday my grandma passed away at the age of 104. She would have been 105 this Friday.

So needless to say, last week was a weird one.

I saw her the Sunday before she died and basically just spent an hour holding her hand while she slept. I didn’t really even say anything, I just sat there and took it all in. I was by myself with the sounds of her sleeping and the sounds of the nursing home.

It was a weird day.

When I got the call on Monday morning the she had died I cried, of course, but I also think some of it was tears of joy. I knew she was finally at peace.

The rest of the day went on like a bit of a blur. And then more days happened and it was just a big big blur. I know I did things last week. But I really couldn’t tell you what all of them were.

Between pregnancy hormones and overall weird emotions of loss, I felt so out of it.

Her memorial was Friday and I loved hearing the stories that people shared about her. Her friends from church shared touching tidbits, my older cousins had different memories than I did, my dad and his brother broke down while simultaneously sharing stories of their mama. It was beautiful.

It was also amazing that I was reminded of how amazing her life was. For example, Duke Ellington asked her to go on tour with him (TWICE) and she turned him down to focus on school (TWICE). I also learned that her first meeting with my grandfather involved her tripping him because she couldn’t think of anything to say (which may be my new favorite thing about her).

After her memorial the weekend was a blur of family. But I also feel like it was a blur of starting to get back to normal (whatever normal is). As much as I will miss my grandma, I’m just so grateful I had her in my life for as long as I did.

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happy tuesday!

Posted in My Crazy Life

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