You know those times when you have nothing to say but at the same time everything to say? Yeah those times. I’ve been having a lot of those times lately. Those times where EVERYTHING is on my mind at the same time.
The past three weeks I had a stye in my eye that was giving me a constant pressure headache and I felt pretty low. I mean, how do I keep getting this weird ass ailments?! First I threw out my back in April and then last month my mouth was in serious pain and then the eye. It was just so frustrating. And I couldn’t take it. I would come home and just want to sleep it off and make these weird things go away. I would whine and complain and it was so immature but I just didn’t know what else to do.
On top of that, Matt and I have been having all sorts of talks lately. Money talk and baby talk and life talk and just EVERYTHING. And let me tell you, it is terrifying. And frustrating. And it’s brought me to tears sometimes. And honestly, Adulthood is Hard.
Can we put that on a shirt and sell it? Because hell it is true, Adulthood isn’t easy and sometimes I just don’t know how to make it work.
But then again, do any of us?
Unfortunately there is no yellow brick road, no guide book, no “here’s how it’s done”, nothing. Adulthood is just this little [big] thing that we have to figure out. And somehow I will.
I’m determined.
Despite my whining and ranting and rambling post (it’s okay if you’ve already stopped reading this) and the uncertainty of it all I have a feeling that one day I’ll look back and say “I don’t know why I worried so much, I always knew I’d figure it out.” And I will. We will. We all will.
Somehow, Adulthood will make sense and it’ll work for us.
It may not be the plan we had mapped out for ourselves and it may not be what our friends have that we want so bad, but it’ll happen. And one day I’ll stop freaking out and hopefully that same day my body will stop having random things happen to it (because that would be swell).
So. For now. I’m going to look Adulthood square in the face and say “HEY! CUT IT OUT. AND CUT US SOME SLACK. And I don’t get you, but let’s be friends okay?” and then hopefully we’ll all be on the right track.
So yeah. There’s that on my mind.
What about you?
happy friday!
*looking back this is one of the most ramblingest post ever, but I’m hitting publish anyways. sometimes random rambles just need to be shared*
Posted in Me Things
{ 11 comments… read them below or add one }
I agree, adulthood is tough. We’ve been having a rocky road lately with financial woes and moving frustrations, and sometimes I wish I could just go hide in a cave somewhere. But then I think about being sixteen again, and I realize, you know, I think I’m actually pretty okay with where I am now! So sorry you’ve been having a rough time lately–I think we both should go eat a big ice cream sundae now
That really SHOULD be made into a shirt! Adulthood is not easy. Sometimes I miss being a kid and just running around all summer playing with chalk and worrying about what kind of popsicle to eat. But at the same time adulthood has so many perks and exciting things to look forward to. It makes the hard things worth sticking out so you can get to the good stuff. Thinking of you! Hope you can work your adulthood things out soon.
I love this post. I mean, not the stye or the back pain drama. Sometimes even though you PLAN out adulthood to be one way, things just happen another way. But you and Matt have each other, and that has to make things infinitely better.
I feel like we’re going through the same thing (must be time for those 2010 brides!) Adulthood is hard. Marriage is hard. Trying to figure out a pathway is hard. I feel for you lady, we’ll all get through it somehow.
We are making that shirt! And selling out the back of my car with the rest of our clever shirt ideas (I’m pretty sure we’ll make a fortune). This is how I approach adulthood: blindly but with an open mind, although I’m no where near as adult as you (see: marriage, baby talks, etc.). I feel like we will all figure it out even if we spend a good portion of it frustrated and confused.
“When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things”.
The child within us never dies. However, it must learn to embrace responsibility so that we do not become immersed in longing or regret.
~ g
Ugh it’s so hard! I often have those moments where I’m thinking “It would be so much easier if I were still little and my parents could just take care of it!” I think what gets us all through is the fact that by this point in life we’ve learned who our real friends are and appreciate the importance of family. We’re never alone no matter how tough it gets…and if all else fails there’s always wine
sending lots of good thoughts your way!!
Oh man, I hear ya. We’ve been having all kinds of talks like that lately. Partly because we’re getting married next month, and part of it is that we’re in our early (but approaching mid) 30s and need to get a lot of things figured out – but does anyone really have everything figured out? It seems like so many others do, but I’m sure everyone struggles with their own version of adulthood, you know?
But I would definitely buy that shirt. And I’d wear the shit out of it.
Yes, yes, yes, to all of this. Adulthood is hard!
Some days I am thinking “wow, you’re quite good of navigating adulthood” and then on other days it’s all totally overwhelming. I wish there was some kind of “universal guide book” for adulthood, but I am afraid, there isn’t… we all have to figure it out on our own, but at least we’re all doing it together
Being at camp makes Adulthood even scarier. Sometimes I just want to punch Adulthood in its ugly face.
But then I realize how comfortable I finally am with myself, and, though all those Adult decisions are effing scary, I’ve made good decisions thus far. We’re only getting wiser.
I wish I had seen this post before I saw you yesterday because I have been going through the exact same thing lately!! (Except, thankfully, without a stye – ouch!) Ugh, it’s rough… but it WILL BE okay. Also, hanging out (literally) last night was a great stress relief. it really got my mind off of All The Things and I felt so great afterwards. I hope you did, too!