Why I couldn’t be in Cirque Du Soleil.

Lately I’ve been seeing all these commercials for Cirque Du Soleil’s Kooza and how it’s at Santa Monica and ummm I really want to go! Remember, I love Cirque shows. But then it got me thinking about how insane it would be to actually be in a Cirque show and how there is no way I could ever pull it off. So similar to why I couldn’t be a criminal, there are plenty of reasons why I couldn’t be in a Cirque show.

1. I’m so not bendy. I can’t even do a freaking cartwheel. So I definitely couldn’t pull off this move. Or this one.

2. On top of not being bendy like, my balance is awful so there’d be no way to do something as crazy as this.

3. I’m 5’9” so I’m pretty sure I’m a good five inches over the maximum height of anyone in the shows.

4. Although I’ve sky dived and love rollercoasters I’m quite afraid of heights and would probably scream if I had to run on big wheels or swing from a high flying trapeze.

5. As we already know, I don’t wear a lot of makeup, so painting my face on a nightly basis would probably make me break out in hives or something. And knowing my luck I’d end up with glitter in my eyes and permanently green hair or something, haha.

6. I’m pretty clumsy. Not good on sets that require precision and accuracy and not tripping.

7. I’m not a very strong swimmer which would be pretty clutch for O I hear.

8. Now don’t shoot me but I’m not an uber Beatles fan which I feel would be a necessity to participate/enjoy being in LOVE, so that’s a no go for me.

9. I can only stay in Las Vegas for so long, so doing shows there forever and ever would totally not fly. I’d have to be in one of the moving shows, but then again that’d be too much traveling. Man I’m such a whiner.

10. I don’t think Matt would be too keen on me having sex on stage a la Zumanity, haha.

I know there’s got to me more reasons but those are just the ones I can think of for now. But just because I can’t be in Cirque doesn’t mean I don’t still love it. So come on now, who’s going to get me Kooza tickets? Or send me to Vegas to see O? Cause yeah that’d be amazing.

jumping onto a big bed?

yeah maybe I could do that, haha.

Could you be in a Cirque show or are you just as unbendy as I am, haha?

happy wednesday!