Nope. Not superwoman. Not supermom. Not superhuman. And I need to remember that.
Yesterday marked the beginning of my second week home alone with Riley. And honestly, this kid is toying with me. Seriously. Last Monday he was amazzzzing. Like slept well and ate well and I got things done. And that’s where the amazingess stopped.
Every day since then Riley has only slept when I’m holding him. If I try and put him down, he wakes up. He’s cried so much I’m convinced the neighbors must think I’m murdering my child and he’s hardly slept. So basically those things on my to-do list have all been halted until Matt’s gotten home. And I’ve watched a lot of bad TV.
In short, this is not easy. I mean, I never thought it would be. I never thought parenthood would be easy, simple or anything manageable with an almost month old child. I don’t actually know what I thought.
Maybe I was over ambitious to think I’d be able to get things done right away and just bounce back into some semblance of normal life. Maybe it was a bit crazy to think that I’d always be able to comfort a crying baby. And maybe it was crazy to think I’d be able to handle all of this on my own.
But that doesn’t mean I don’t still love it. Despite how hard the first week was by myself and how difficult I can only imagine it’s going to be from here on out, I’ll make it work. Maybe I’ll have to forfeit sleep or quality time with Matt to do freelance work and maybe I’ll just have to admit defeat sometimes. Maybe I’ll have to admit when I need help and call my mom or call Matt’s mom to come help. Maybe I’ll just have to wing it. A lot.
And maybe sometimes I’ll just cry when Riley cries, because I’m a crier. And it’ll be okay.
And no matter how hard this is or how hard this gets, I know I’m not alone and I know I’m so lucky to have this little man in my life. Even if he doesn’t take after me and my love of sleep.
happy tuesday!Posted in Me Things